Smile

Last night was the first time I smiled to sleep in a long, long time.

What caused this? Why, it was TV of course. Last night I stayed up very late reading people’s thoughts and theories on ABC’s new drama The Family. Only 3 episodes have aired so far and I am addicted with this mystery. So far, they have only raised questions and answered none. This feeling… this is what happiness is to me. The constant pondering of one or more TV shows. The obsession gives me the will to live.

These past few days have been pretty shitty. A large mass of negative energy came back into my life that I could totally live without. TV has been getting me through it. Even if the reality of my life is complete garbage, there is another world that I can dive into and be totally fine. If I never found my passion for television, I would be contemplating whether life was worth living a second more.

Good television occupies me in many ways. 1) The excellent actors and actresses. Their every facial expression that makes you feel feelings you have never felt before… For example, in The Family, Andrew McCarthy’s Hank Asher is a convicted sex offender (for indecent exposure is all we know for now), yet I still feel empathy for him. He has this sadness in his eyes that makes me want him to be happy and left alone. Though I don’t know if I have left over feelings from Pretty in Pink, or if it’s just Andrew McCarthy’s acting. 2) The plot. The greater the mystery, the more I think about the story. The show is just one timeline, but there are an infinite amount of ways the story could have gone and can go. 3) The characters. Being able to connect with a character is one of the greatest things ever. You get this feeling of, I can totally be that person and those events could totally happen to me. My life could be awesome! That is who I want to be when I grow up!! Right now, I’m trying to gain Robert California’s confidence. I don’t think I’ll ever reach the level of Bob Kazamakis, but if I keep telling myself to be more like Robert California, I’ll gain a sliver more confidence. 4) The imagery. Seeing events unravel, living in them, experiencing them first hand… It’s like that is your life. You gain these fictional memories that are so fun and entertaining as opposed to that time you wrote an essay or did some insignificant task. Most of what we do in life is for the outcome, but the whole point of television is for the entire experience. The outcome is like yeah, that happened, but happy endings are still just endings–onto the next adventure! 5) The fandoms. A show doesn’t air for long without people watching it. To be able to share the experience with others who appreciate and enjoy it as much as you do, makes you feel so connected with a bunch of strangers. It’s why I don’t watch shows that EVERYONE watches (Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, etc.). It’s no fun when everyone watches it because everyone is talking about it. They just watch it for the sake of being up to date.

The Family only has 3 episodes so far so I’m starting a bunch of shows to get my TV fix. I’m almost done The Office (on the last season), and it’s going to be sad that it’s over for a second time, but I’ll have room for more shows. I started Queer as Folk a while back and I’m watching only an episode a day. I recently watched the first episode of Prison Break and am currently downloading The Americans to start. Now, whenever I receive signs that I should be watching it, I watch it. I have sort of wanted to watch The Americans for a while now (I think since it premiered), but I always put it off.

Guess I’m getting back on the path of happiness again.

soupy twist!

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