Month: March 2016

Smile

Last night was the first time I smiled to sleep in a long, long time.

What caused this? Why, it was TV of course. Last night I stayed up very late reading people’s thoughts and theories on ABC’s new drama The Family. Only 3 episodes have aired so far and I am addicted with this mystery. So far, they have only raised questions and answered none. This feeling… this is what happiness is to me. The constant pondering of one or more TV shows. The obsession gives me the will to live.

These past few days have been pretty shitty. A large mass of negative energy came back into my life that I could totally live without. TV has been getting me through it. Even if the reality of my life is complete garbage, there is another world that I can dive into and be totally fine. If I never found my passion for television, I would be contemplating whether life was worth living a second more.

Good television occupies me in many ways. 1) The excellent actors and actresses. Their every facial expression that makes you feel feelings you have never felt before… For example, in The Family, Andrew McCarthy’s Hank Asher is a convicted sex offender (for indecent exposure is all we know for now), yet I still feel empathy for him. He has this sadness in his eyes that makes me want him to be happy and left alone. Though I don’t know if I have left over feelings from Pretty in Pink, or if it’s just Andrew McCarthy’s acting. 2) The plot. The greater the mystery, the more I think about the story. The show is just one timeline, but there are an infinite amount of ways the story could have gone and can go. 3) The characters. Being able to connect with a character is one of the greatest things ever. You get this feeling of, I can totally be that person and those events could totally happen to me. My life could be awesome! That is who I want to be when I grow up!! Right now, I’m trying to gain Robert California’s confidence. I don’t think I’ll ever reach the level of Bob Kazamakis, but if I keep telling myself to be more like Robert California, I’ll gain a sliver more confidence. 4) The imagery. Seeing events unravel, living in them, experiencing them first hand… It’s like that is your life. You gain these fictional memories that are so fun and entertaining as opposed to that time you wrote an essay or did some insignificant task. Most of what we do in life is for the outcome, but the whole point of television is for the entire experience. The outcome is like yeah, that happened, but happy endings are still just endings–onto the next adventure! 5) The fandoms. A show doesn’t air for long without people watching it. To be able to share the experience with others who appreciate and enjoy it as much as you do, makes you feel so connected with a bunch of strangers. It’s why I don’t watch shows that EVERYONE watches (Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, etc.). It’s no fun when everyone watches it because everyone is talking about it. They just watch it for the sake of being up to date.

The Family only has 3 episodes so far so I’m starting a bunch of shows to get my TV fix. I’m almost done The Office (on the last season), and it’s going to be sad that it’s over for a second time, but I’ll have room for more shows. I started Queer as Folk a while back and I’m watching only an episode a day. I recently watched the first episode of Prison Break and am currently downloading The Americans to start. Now, whenever I receive signs that I should be watching it, I watch it. I have sort of wanted to watch The Americans for a while now (I think since it premiered), but I always put it off.

Guess I’m getting back on the path of happiness again.

soupy twist!

Advertisements

TV

Is quitting TV a bad thing for me?

I’m watching a lot less TV than I used to. I stopped trying to watch as much TV as I could when The 6th Floor became my home. Whenever I watched something there, it would take forever. Probably because I was with friends. TV was my I’m-not-doing-anything time, but also my this-is-very-important-that-I-watch-this time. So that meant that a) this was a prime opportunity to not not bother me and b) I have to finish this episode!! Sometimes it took me 2-3 hours to watch a 43 minute episode. Sometimes I got so sidetracked that I forgot I was watching something and I realized later that the episode was left unfinished. Then, of course, I had to go and finish it up.

Sometimes I would go days without watching any TV. I survived because I was on the 6th floor with friends. I built a family there. But ever since then, I haven’t really been happy. I’ve been okay happy, but not truly happy. There is this empty feeling inside of me.

I remember back in high school, I would watch SO much TV. Even with projects and homework, I somehow managed to do those even with copious amounts of TV. I think it’s because I spend so much time watching, I try to make up for it by working harder than I usually would. I leave less time to work, so I work more efficiently and give it everything I’ve got. My greatest example of this is in Grade 12, first semester. It was the week before exams. I had an Advanced Functions exam- my most important exam. This was my main course that would get me into the University of Waterloo. I was sick. I had a cold, and I was basically dying. PLUS, this was when I was watching House, one of the greatest shows ever. I think I was on season 5 at the time. Well, I watched like 2-3 seasons during that week. It got SO good that I just could not stop. Exam, sick, House. I basically lived like a sick, old hermit for the week. Then, the morning of my exam, I found out that I got admitted to the University of Waterloo! All they had were my Grade 11 grades and two Grade 12 grades (English and Computer Science), which I took in Grade 11. I was so scared I wouldn’t get admitted, but I got in! I was like, “screw this exam! (But I’ll still try my best. I mean, I’ve already studied a lot.)” I got 100 on it!! I’ve never gotten 100 on an exam. It was awesome.

The lesson was: do as much as you can of what you love, and everything else can still be done. I think the reasoning behind this is: 1) Oh shit, oh shit. I gotta finish all of this stuff!! 2) Too tired to not be able to sleep like a baby (so no time is wasted in bed trying to sleep). 3) I feel very satisfied with what I’ve watched. 4) Livin’ life to the max!

I guess watching less TV has been doing me more bad than good. I mean, my average has only been increasing by ~0.2% per term while my TV consumption has been decreasing by 50% per term. TV is definitely not the problem. TV gives me reason to live. I think my best times are when I’m grieving for a character. I still think about George 😥 … Just thinking about how good a show is puts me to sleep with a smile on my face. I miss those times. I used to go to sleep smiling every night. I haven’t in years.

With that said, I’m going to lift my no-more-new-shows rule. Screw that! Gotta be trying new stuff all the time. Up next on my watchlist is: Queer As Folk (because Michael Scott watches it), Spooks/MI-5, and The Night Manager (Hugh Laurie!!). Maybe Peep Show, Misfits, My Mad Fat Diary, and Episodes. (I gotta start watching more British television.)

 

I need to remember that watching TV is the same as sleep for me! It energizes me. It wakes me up. It’s equivalent to food. It’s basically one of my basic needs. Food/water, shelter, sleep, and TV. I don’t even spend the entire day on my app. There’s downtime and what do I do during that time? I don’t even know. I measure time by the seasons I watch, but if I’m not watching anything, how do I count time? Does time even exist if I’m not watching anything? Enough nonsense from me. I need to watch a lot of stuff. My mother woke me up to shovel snow at 7AM, which is like 6 hours before I usually start working. So I’ve got plenty of time to sleep watch TV.

soupy twist!